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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?